WARNING: I'm being a Debbie Downer

• I don't want to work anymore. This job is driving me nuts but it's too late to find a new one.

• I feel lonely and lost. I don't know who I am. How can anyone like me as a person when I don't even like myself?

• My life is at a stand still right now. I don't know what to look forward to anymore.

But having a positive attitude can turn things around, right? I'm serving in the next two weeks so I'll see if it works.

Random Thought #6

This hasn't been a random thought, it's been a thought of mine for the last month. How do people do the exact same thing every single day for their job? I work in a restaurant, and every single day is the same. There are differences like who comes to eat, who works, etc. but it's the same thing over and over. I understand that being in rehearsals is the same thing over and over, but it's only for a time period until that show goes up. You will always do a different show, if not, there will be different actors. Every production comes to an end. I don't really know how my managers do it, or even servers/hosts that have been there for over a year. I don't know about you, but I can barely stay at this job I have now.

Random Thought #5

Do you ever just think about what could happen, or what will never happen but you think about it anyways? I do it all the time. I've never been a good writer or one for imaginative stories but I just think and let my imagination run. Sometimes I build off books/stories I've read, sometimes it's based on what happens in life and I just expand on it. This is why I don't use my ipod much anymore. I used to love listening to music, but now it's just me sitting there, daydreaming and losing track of the time. There's something odd about my thoughts though - I don't seem to have control of them, some can be quite hurtful and I end up crying/get me into a bad mood. I don't know what's up but I guess I'll have to live with it.

The last six weeks...

I've been told to blog again but I still can't figure out what to write about. So here are the highlights of what I've done in the past six weeks.

1. Worked
2. Got tips
3. Renewed my contract and got a new Samsung Flight
4. Tried the new restaurant, "West" with Brittney
5. Had a laser eye surgery consultation (I will no longer be wearing glasses as of July 19th)
6. Tried the Korean restaurant, "Seoul" for my mother's birthday
7. Saw "Prince of Persia" with Brady
8. Got Dailybooth (@ping_pong)
9. Broke my "M" key on my keyboard
10. Bought "Oliver Twist" (book)
11. Got my nails done (yes, I was that bored)
12. Bought gifts for two important people in my life
13. Tried the all natural frozen yogurt place in Kensington called "Spoon Me" with David

That's my life so far. It will get better, hopefully, and I'll for sure have something to write about after this weekend! =)

Hmmm...

I'm not really sure what to write lately because nothing interesting has happened. I've been going to work, coming home and sleeping. The most exciting part of my week was when I watched a Calgary Tower worker walk in and someone had been following her while yelling out curses. So now I'm officially scared to get off work, walk through downtown and get on the train.

My life isn't too exciting right now so maybe you can suggest something or ask me questions about stuff?

I need a...

Pensieve. Enough said.

Michelle 105

1. I like being appreciated. And I kinda wish someone would do something special or surprise me just once.
2. I love painting pottery. It's just so relaxing and at the end of the day (more like 4), you get something to put in your room.
3. I'm easily amused.
4. I like video games.
5. Driving a vehicle absolutely terrifies me.
6. I work at a "fine dining" restaurant but it doesn't really seem like it with the professionalism some of my coworkers and managers have.
7. I really don't like people canceling plans unless there's a really good reason.
8. I love almond jello.
9. I like the smell when you blow out candles.
10. The cars I want are a red punch buggie and a red mini cooper.

Random Thought #4

It's great to know what people say behind each others back. I know I'm guilty of it but I don't normally complain if that someone is hurting. I think how we treat each other in secret is wrong and I'm doing my best to stop. I realize ranting relieves stress or anger towards someone, which I think is fine, but there are times when we need to figure out when to stop. I know we're all friends but in the end we're all gonna be connections and nothing more. Hopefully that isn't true but I'm not exactly sure how much of an effort I'm willing to put in with some people and vice versa.

I'm a Sad Panda

I hoped I'd have seen at least a couple of my Calgary friends but we've been busy. I don't really know why some even try but I guess it should be the thought that counts. I'm just kinda lonely and I would definitely like a hang out sesh soon.

Dailybooth

Dailybooth is another social networking site kind of like twitter. It works the same way with the "@" and the following/followers thing. The difference is you post a picture only once a day and you write something about it but you don't have the limitation of 140 characters. I don't have an account yet and I've been debating with myself for months whether or not I should. I think it is really cool that you get to know and see people around the world but the security measures also scare me. I was always taught not to post pictures on the internet because anyone could get ahold of them and track you down, but really, what are the chances of that happening? I'm not stupid enough to put my phone numbers and address on a profile page and the list of dangers are becoming less and less for me so maybe I'll try it. If I do, I'll be sure to post my username!

My Summer Resolutions

I'm not exactly sure if I'm actually gonna have time for some of these. I've been put on split shifts all week and I have a feeling this is what it's gonna be like for the rest of the summer. So I'm gonna have to change some of the details.

• Exercise: instead of walking in my neighbourhood I will walk all over downtown.
• Books: I can't read as many as I wanted to but I will have to bring them to work whenever I'm positioned at the bottom of the tower.
• Clothing: this will have to be when I have time to clean out my room. It will definitely happen but I have to figure out if I will have to book time off of work to do it because I do need a break from doing anything.
• Food: like I said, this probably isn't gonna happen, and I'm probably gonna be spending all my money in downtown for food if it isn't spent at the restaurant. But if I ever have time to think of a healthy meal plan, I'll try it.
• Movies: I will probably only watch movies on my days off.
• Sewing: I didn't have high hopes for this one anyways.

So Long...Farewell

I don't know whether this is hard for you but it's definitely hard for me. Letting go and saying goodbye was, and still is difficult. You have been such a constant in my life and I'm sad that there isn't really anything there. I don't know if cutting you out of my life completely was the right thing to do but I guess that's what I'm gonna have to live with. But maybe we can try being friends soon. I know I miss you a lot right now and I hope you miss me too. I hope these are the right decisions for both of us. Good luck.

Appreciation

The thought of being appreciated goes a long way, which is why I always thank people several times and make them know how grateful I am. But some people aren't the greatest at, or good at it at all and I'm wondering what is it that makes it so hard just to let each other know our appreciation.

I've taken many personality tests and talked to many instructors about myself. I found out that I work better if I get encouragement and if the people I'm working for/helping actually gives me credit for my work. And even if some people don't work that way, it's always a good thing to say "thank you". I've learned that most people work better when you give them some support. I guess what I'm saying is appreciate your friends and family for what they do for you.

Random Thought #3

Why do we have iPhones, blackberrys, or any type of phone with a data plan? I think people in the corporate world need them or anyone who is working. But why us? Why college students? Why high school students? I understand the need to get ahold of someone but that's why they invented the phone in the first place. There's also something called text messaging. My main question is why do we need to know things right away (ie. Facebook statuses, wall posts, etc.)? I know I'm guilty of wanting to know but is it really necessary? I think I'd be content not knowing. I have gone a few days without checking Facebook and it didn't bother me once. Why can't we just go out and have fun with no interruptions like we used to?

I understand that we get bored a lot and that's why we go on it. But what if we found another way to be productive? Go outside, read a book, find something that interests you/educational on the internet, etc. Maybe our world would be just a little bit smarter.

I think we all need to step back and have fun with the people we're with. Go one day without using a cellphone except for calling and receiving calls. Turn off all the Twitter and Facebook mobile and see what happens. I know it'll be hard for me because my phone is surgically attached to me, but I think this is a good challenge to see whether or not you can just concentrate on one thing/person at a time.

Random Thought #2

Someone should invent something to make your eyes feel back to normal if you're crying. My eyes have gotten back to normal but there's still that puffy swollen feeling. I guess eye drops may help but I can't find any =(

Hello Again YYC

Back in Calgary for a few days and I already miss everyone in Red Deer. Hopefully this is going to be a new start for me...a new job, new friends, new adventures, new experiences, etc. But it's also time for reconnecting with old friends, visiting that small city 150km north and maybe even 300km for a special friend.

Cheers to the summer and hopefully the best one yet!

2 years...

It's been 2 years but it's still just as painful even though I know you're doing well. I miss you.

RIP Papa <3

Sewing: My Summer Resolutions Part 6

I know this one is a little farfetched but I can hope, right? My intention to learn how to sew is so I can make simple alterations to my clothes: ie. hemming. If I can find someone who has a sewing machine (that isn't a foot powered one like my aunt's) and is willing to teach me, I would be so grateful!

Blogs?

I've recently been looking at a couple people's blogs and I've come to find that my life back in Calgary is a lot more materialistic. Those people with the blogs pretty much just write or take pictures of what they're wearing and how to make it better. Am I seriously like that? I know this blog isn't. I know that in my life in Red Deer I'm probably the most materialistic one out of my friends but I don't find the need to blog about what I'm wearing.

I don't know...I love shopping and buying new things but my life doesn't consume it, and frankly, I'm bored with malls right now. I know that someone in particular blogs about what they think is beautiful in life but it seems to me you're missing the bigger picture.

If I ever turn into someone who writes about what they're wearing, please hit me. kthx =)

Movies: My Summer Resolutions Part 5

This summer I'm gonna try and watch as many movies possible so I don't sound like I live under a rock anymore. I won't watch any horror but I'll watch pretty much anything else so let me know what's a good movie and I'll hopefully watch it!

Random Thought #1

I have an attachment to an inanimate object: my hairbrush. I know it's a weird thing to be attached to but I love it. I bought it when I was in England at the Victoria's station convenient store because I had left my other brush at home and I definitely could not have lasted two and a half weeks without one.

The reason why I have this attachment is because that brush has travelled with me to London, Paris, Red Deer, San Francisco, Vancouver and Mexico. I don't think I've had anything that has been with me for everything except my mom and I think that's why I love it so much. The funny thing is, I tend to forget it places. This summer I left it in Vancouver so my Auntie Grace was gonna give it to my cousin and he would bring it back to Calgary whenever he visited. But what happened was a family friend ended up going to Vancouver and decided to take it home for me, except that he had to fly to the Philippines first. So my hairbrush has been to, not technically more countries than me, but has gone to Asia without me.

I know it's just a hairbrush, but it's that one thing that has been with me everywhere. It's hard to explain, but I think everyone has at least something like that in their lives.

yeah...

Um...I don't really no what to say except I'm glad we're all moving and getting away from each other. It's been a weird week and I just hope nothing more happens.

Year End

I don't know what it is but I'm not sad that things are going to change after April. 24th. I've been ready for a long time to move back home, you'd think I'd feel some sort of sadness that we're all going different places. I have no idea what is going on with me but I hope I stay like this, supportive and happy, and not disapproving and sad.

For all my friends moving across the country, or even as close as Edmonton or Calgary, good luck to you all. I'll miss you but I know you're gonna have fun wherever you're going. I hope to see you out in the industry soon!

Much love <3

Eating Healthier: My Summer Resolutions Part 4

This one probably, most likely, definitely won't happen, but I'll try my hardest.

Tonight - Stars

This song gets me through a lot, and I also play it when I just want something really calm to listen to. It's one of my favourites, you should download it!

Ps. I think these animations are cute too! =)

Reading: My Summer Resolutions Part 3

I used to read a lot. Yes, there was a lot of Harry Potter in it but JK Rowling is actually a good writer. I have barely read anything in the last year and I feel so dumb. I honestly think my IQ has dropped because I can't comprehend things as fast as I used to.

Another goal for this summer is to start reading again and get off Facebook, Twitter and Etsy. The only thing is, I have no idea where to start. So I'm asking you to do me a favour and recommend your favourite books! I will read pretty much anything, especially fantasy and mystery. I think the only things I won't read are the business type books that my mother reads. But if I've heard the author isn't a good writer (ie. Twilight saga), I probably will not pick it up.

Ps. I might give Lord of the Rings a try again if I can get past Frodo and Gandalf talking for 200 pages.

May 2011: Finland

I just got a great idea for my second year field work practicum: The Hotel and Igloo Village Kakslauttanen. This hotel is located 250km above the Arctic Circle in Saariselka, Finland. The main attraction there is simply watching the aurora borealis in the comfort of your own glass igloo room. It has the world's largest smoke sauna and many tours around the land. It is cold there, but I have no problem with that because I'd rather be cold than hot. On their website they say they offer internships so I'm thinking of heading there next year. I've never been to Finland before, so this could be a whole new chapter in my life.

Sky 360

The Sky 360 is a revolving restaurant in the Calgary Tower. I had an interview there last Friday for my field work practicum. The interview went great and they called my reference, Brenda, who is my Basic Fine Dining Service instructor. She told me yesterday except that she missed their call and hasn't called them back yet. This is absolutely killing me right now because I really want to know if I got the job or not. If I get this job, another weight will be lifted from my shoulders and I will only have to worry about my exams and packing.

Exercise: My Summer Resolutions Part 2

I mentioned earlier that I should get more exercise and do more outdoors this summer. So I've decided that I'm going to walk the route I used to walk when I was younger with my parents and try and walk it every day this summer. If not every day, at least five days a week. I just got the new Reebok Easytone walking shoes so I better be walking ASAP!

I know I'm trying to do a lot this summer. Let's see if any of it actually happens.

Cooking Exam!

I know this doesn't concern you guys but I'm just super stoked that i got 68/70 on my overall practical part of my cooking exam! Ron gave me 100% on my chicken velouté sauce! I'm pissed that I lost marks on my fine diced onions, but I'll get over it because I got a compliment from an instructor!

That is all! =D

Materialism: My Summer Resolutions Part 1

I know that I'm a materialistic person. I think all of us are in one way or another. My interests are shopping and fashion. When I'm bored, I go to the mall. When I go to an arts and crafts store, I normally end up making some sort of accessory. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the other things in life. I like going for walks (when it's daylight and when I'm not too lazy), and I really enjoy playing frisbee and other outdoor activities.

I know I can be a lot better with buying things and I can do more outside. So this summer I'm going to go through all of my clothes and purses. The things that I don't wear/can't fit anymore I will bring to consignment stores/donate to charity. And as for purchasing clothing, I will try to keep to local boutiques, and I hate to say it, Etsy, so I can support these people and get handmade clothing. Don't worry though, there's only a few things I want on that site that I will actually get. I promise you I will not spend all my paychecks and will limit myself to buying one item off of Etsy per month. If I don't obey that rule, I will donate an article of clothing for every new article I get. Sound fair?

HOSP 220 Basic Food Prep

This class is my cooking class. We run the school restaurant called "Cornerstone Dining". What I like about this place is that the food is cheaper than a normal restaurant and there's always some sort of twist. Ron, the instructor, always likes picking something that is a little different from the norm and see what people will try. Mostly everything I've tried has turned out really well. Here are some of my favourites:

Steak and Guinness Pie
Amaretto Peach Zabaglione

And for the vegetarians out there, here's one that's I couldn't stop eating:

Butternut Squash Risotto

Trust me and actually try them out. I'm a picky eater and if I like it, then it's good.

Worrrrrk!

I need work. More so than a lot of people because I actually get graded for working. In hospitality and tourism you need to do a six week field work practicum in order to get your certificate, and again in second year to get your diploma. So if I can't find a job that is in the hospitality industry, I am so fucked. Here's hoping the Telus World of Science, Sky 360, Crave Cupcakes and Heritage Park phones me back! And if anyone has ideas for me to apply, please tell me!

Note to Self: Work Out!

Yesterday we climbed up onto Brady's roof to look at the stars and drink. His roof has two levels to it, and the higher level up comes up to my neck. I obviously have no upper body strength so I really had to jump and push myself as much as I could. I did get up there, but now I'm feeling it in my arms and legs. It doesn't hurt or anything, but I guess I haven't worked these muscles in a while, which has led me to the conclusion that I really need to exercise!

DWTS Season 10

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe Kate Gosselin is on Dancing with the Stars. Seriously?! This is getting ridiculous. I think we've heard enough about her in the last year. She just needs to get out of the public eye and actually take care of her 8 children.

New Tattoo

Q: You got another tattoo? What did you get?

A: My Chinese name and chrysanthemum flower.

Q: Where did you get it?

A: On the top of my foot just above my toes.

Q: What shop did you go to?

A: I went to The Laughing Tattoo Studio in Bowden. The artist there does $40 Fridays. Check out her fan page here.

Q: Did it hurt?!

A: Not really. It did on the bone and on the side but that was it. I'm not sure if it was because I've already had a tattoo before though. It might also be because she is more gentle than the other artist I went to.

Picture coming soon!

Homeeee

I am so ready to go back to Calgary. I know once I'm back there I'm gonna miss everyone like crazy, but I need to get out of this damn house. Everything has been irritating me and I'm so glad there's only a few more weeks of school left. I think I also need to get away to sort through all of my thoughts and get ahold of my emotions. I've made one of my relationships unhealthy and need to figure that shit out.

Continuation on Burning Bridges

"Omg, we worked together last weekend and she spoke to me like we were friends."

Uh, okay, really now? She knows you hate her. She probably hates you too cause of all that shit you put her through. She was trying to be civil with you because that's what you need to be in this industry. She's sucking it up because that's what you're supposed to do if you don't want to work with someone. You know, being civil and not making a scene helps make anything successful.

Side rant: Holy shit, the world doesn't revolve around you and I think the only reason why you haven't clung on to me is because I do what I want and you know that. Oh and what was that you said to me the other day? "I know I'm a bitch." That's not something to be proud of and maybe something you should change. At least you realize it though. Now we just have to work on your narcissism.

The Blind Side

Sandra Bullock just won an oscar for this movie. It is based off the book called "The Blind Side: Evolution of the Game" by Michael Lewis. When I first saw the trailer, I started to cry. I thought it would be a touching tale about a person feeling sorry for the homeless kid and taking him in and making his life better. It is that movie but what I wasn't expecting was some of the comedic lines that the little brother, SJ, says. Not just him, but many of them have lines you wouldn't expect. The movie was very happy go lucky for the hour and a half, with the homeless kid being successful, but I still really enjoyed it. If you want to see an underdog movie, this is definitely one to watch.

Mmm...pizza

Western Pizza is seriously the best pizza I've ever had. Yes it's expensive, and yes it isn't as big as pizza hut, but they have the best flavours such as donair, chicken and feta, cheeseburger, and chipotle! My mouth is watering just thinking about it. A large is around $27 depending on the pizza, but it is really worth it. And if you have a bunch of people splitting, it shouldn't cost you too much. Try it, you won't regret it.

Consideration

I don't really understand how people cannot be considerate for other people's feelings. Everyone have their bad nights, but don't fuckin' call them a bitch when they're not there. Yes, they may be a little snippy, but that's because they're in a bad mood and you should be kind enough not to make it worse. People react to things differently, and you know what, if you were having a bad night you'd probably be acting like them or maybe even worse. Just because they don't do what you want them to do doesn't mean you're allowed to be that fuckin' rude.

Oh and another thing. If you call a cab, either take it or be considerate enough to go tell them that you don't need them anymore instead of letting them wait out there for a long time when they could have left and gotten business else where.

One last note. YOU'RE SO FUCKIN' LOUD. CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT WE HAVE MORNING CLASSES AND WE ACTUALLY NEED SLEEP?! SERIOUSLY, MOVE THE FUCK OUT. YOU'VE ALREADY WASTED $3,000 FOR ONLY LIVING HERE A WEEK OUT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR. GET THE FUCK OUT, NO ONE WANTS YOU IN THIS HOUSE.

Seriously people, sometimes you need to think about the other person and their feelings. I know it's a difficult task, but I have faith.

Burning Bridges

Why is it that in a connection based industry people burn their bridges? I quite understand not liking someone because of their personality and getting frustrated with people who don't have common sense, but really, does it have to come down to constantly being mean to them just for being in your group? You have no idea what's going to happen in the future and for all you know, the person who you loathe makes it big and offers jobs to people that you may end up needing.

I'm in two industries that are based on connections and from what I know of, I haven't burned a single bridge. Yes, I may not like the person and I may constantly rant about them, and vice versa, but when it comes down to it, I will bite my tongue and work with them because that's what you're gonna have to do. Why is that concept so hard to grasp?

Alice in Wonderland

Yesterday I watched Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" in 3D and was definitely stoked to see it. It kept my attention all the way through and I actually enjoyed it. It wasn't the best movie in the world, but I did like it. I know the others I went with didn't like it but I knew not to expect Disney's version of it. I knew it was going to be different. It seemed more like a sequel than an actual remake which I figured out from the trailer.

My advice to you if you go and watch it: don't go in with any expectations. Go into it just like you're watching any other movie. I think overall I enjoyed it a lot more than my friends because I wasn't expecting the typical Alice.

Pet Peeve

One of my biggest pet peeves ever is lending people shit and them not giving it back. Or they've given it back and they've chewed on it. Or they've snapped something off of it. Or they lost the lid.

The list can go on. I know it doesn't really make sense to a lot of people why I'm so anal about this shit, but I am. I hate when things aren't the same. I hate when I have markers that are the same but one hook has snapped off. I hate when people bend things or chew on it. Isn't it common courtesy not to chew on other peoples stuff?

You don't have to understand it, you don't even have to accept it. Call me whatever you want but it still doesn't change my mind about lending things out. You have the things that irritate you. Everyone does. I don't make fun of yours so stop making fun of mine.

Camp Fire!

Billy, Brady, Caitlynn, Kelsey, Shane and Tim.

Who else could I have a camp fire with in the middle of winter?

Love you guyss!

Mexican Pinwheels

I absolutely love cream cheese and this is one of my favourite recipes for potlucks! I've never heard anything bad about them but beware for the lactose intolerant (sorry Brady, but you'll eat them anyway because they're just so good).

1 8oz pkg cream cheese (leave out at room temperature so it's easier to mix)

3 tbsp. hot chunky salsa

2 green onions, finely sliced

3 tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro

6 tortilla shells

1. Mix everything together in a mixing bowl except for the tortilla shells.
2. When everything is mixed, spread it on the tortilla shells.
3. Roll up as tight as you can.
4. Cover and refrigerate for a couple hours.
5. Cut in 1 inch pinwheels.

Pictures coming soon!

Michelle 104

1. I absolutely love stationary. When I was young, the best part about summer was getting my school supplies list and going shopping for it.
2. I hate wearing jeans.
3. I'm addicted to everything bagels toasted with butter.
4. I don't drink very often but my favourites are vodka slimes and china whites.
5. My wardrobe is very childish. I hope to change it soon but I just love hoodies way too much.
6. I love getting mail.
7. I have enough panties and socks to last me a month. Guess how often I do laundry?
8. I don't watch a lot of movies, ever, but lately, you'd be surprised!
9. I hate when people tell me things over and over that I already know.
10. I'd rather stay in and watch a movie than go out clubbing.

Flowers

If you know me, you know I despise flowers. Any floral print, actual flowers - especially red roses, just flower everything. But lately I've been starting to like them. I don't think i'll ever start wearing floral prints in my life time but for right now, they're going to be in my hair. I bought a few flower clips off of...yes, etsy...and I love them! Now I'm debating whether or not I should put glitter on them.

Disappointment

I'm a very emotional person. You can obviously see when I'm pissed off, annoyed, sad, etc. But the worst feeling for me is disappointment. I might be disappointed about something completely stupid and childish but I can't help how I feel. When people tell me we're gonna do things I can't help but get excited. I know shit happens but that unfortunately doesn't change my disappointment. Most of the time I'm not even mad at the person/people who disappointed me, I'm just disappointed in the whole situation. I'm trying not to get my hopes up at all anymore, but that doesn't really work, especially when I care for that person/those people. I'm sorry if I seem like such a "woman" but you can't change your feelings. You can think logically, which I try to do, but emotion always ends up taking over. So sorry if I seem like a bitch, I don't mean it.

The Love of My Life

is Etsy.

I know it's a terrible addiction but at least I'm supporting local/handmade work right?

Olympics

My love of the Olympics has always been great, but this year my love has grown. I seriously spent most of reading week staring at Brady's TV. Whether it's curling, speed skating, hockey, etc. I'll be watching it if Canada's involved. Well, except for women's hockey, I knew that was in the bag.

I know people are complaining that the Olympics cost so much money and there are a bunch of protesters everywhere in Vancouver right now, but honestly, I think it's a great experience to have. I wish I was alive during the Calgary Olympics. It's too bad that some people are anti-olympics because I see it as a world coming together, having fun and supporting each other.

Midterm Rant

In my three years of college I haven't written a lot of midterms because a lot of my classes don't call for it. But this past Wednesday I wrote part one of a two part exam in my human resources class. Today I'm writing part two of the exam and I really hope it is better than Wednesday's.

This exam is my very first scantron exam in college and I now remember why I hated them so much. MC questions can be good but this exam had questions that were like "pick the best answer", "did we talk about that?" and "those are all the best/right but there's no all of the above".

So I really hope today is a lot better, if not, I'm definitely gonna fail this test and and it's worth 35% of my mark....oh goodie.